Tuesday, March 07, 2006
Mammies Grammed
GO GET YOUR MAMMIES GRAMMED This is hysterical! Make sure you read the whole thing. There is a serious message at the end, but you get to laugh on the way there.
For years and years they told me,
Be careful of your breasts.
Don't ever squeeze or bruise them.
And give them monthly tests.
So I heeded all their warnings,
And protected them by law.
Guarded them very carefully,
And I always wore my bra.
After 30 years of astute care,
My gyno, Dr Pruitt, Said
I should get a Mammogram
"OK," I said, "let's do it."
"Stand up here real close" she said,
(She got my boob in line),
"And tell me when it hurts," she said,
"Ah yes! Right there, that's fine."
She stepped upon a pedal,
I could not believe my eyes!
A plastic plate came slamming down,
My hooter's in a vise!
My skin was stretched and mangled,
From underneath my chin.
My poor boob was being squashed,
To Swedish Pancake thin.
Excruciating pain I felt,
Within it's viselike grip.
A prisoner in this vicious thing,
My poor defenseless tit!
"Take a deep breath" she said to me,
Who does she think she's kidding?!?
My chest is mashed in her machine,
And woozy I am getting.
"There, that's good," I heard her say,
(The room was slowly swaying.)
"Now, let's have a go at the other one.
" Have mercy, I was praying.
It squeezed me from both up and down,
It squeezed me from both sides.
I'll bet SHE'S never had this done,
To HER tender little hide
Next time that they make me do this,
I will request a blindfold.
I have no wish to see again,
My knockers getting steam rolled
If I had no problem when I came in,
I surely have one now.
If there had been a cyst in there,
It would have gone "ker-pow!"
This machine was created by a man,
Of this, I have no doubt.
I'd like to stick his balls in there,
And, see how THEY come out!
OK gals, now that you have had your laugh, remember... Breast Cancer Awareness... Go have those boobs checked out and stay healthy! Pass the message on to your mothers, sisters, daughters, aunts, cousins, friends, --- and even your enemies. Because the WORST enemy is Breast Cancer.
Sonya said at 12:32 PM
Comments:
Cezi - I had to get one at 18, which is really young. My grandmother had breast cancer and they made us all do it. I wore a siz A bra back then. They liked to have never of gotten enough on the thing to press and flatten them to do the test.
I think I need my mammies grammed too.
And there is absolutely no way that I am going to stick my balls in a vice. It would be too cold! :D
Nice message S :)
And there is absolutely no way that I am going to stick my balls in a vice. It would be too cold! :D
Nice message S :)
Zen - you are so correct.
MM - your welcome.
Gareth -come on. try it. LOL!
Miss Jay - LOL! Thx!
PPP - we are missing you.
MM - your welcome.
Gareth -come on. try it. LOL!
Miss Jay - LOL! Thx!
PPP - we are missing you.
Thank You Sonya for this post. Lori and I's mom passed away from Breast Cancer. I had a mamogram done my early 30's to check out a knot I had. It was all good. But I was high risk cause of mom and doc wanted to be on safe side.
Oh yeah when I had mine done. I just got done and was waiting for the nurse. The next lady went in to have her's done. Just as they were doing her's the electric went out in the hospital. I sat there thinking that poor woman!!! I hope her boob was not in the machine. I waited around till she came out and asked her. She said Thank God it wasn't.
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