Lost and Found Box
Hello! I was searching through my lost and found box and find a set of boobs. Does anyone know who they belong to? There might be a reward from the person who lost them, but I’m not sure. I thought I better post these.

Someone – who will remain nameless (Mackenzie, you did want to be anonymous – right?) that we depend on for lots of smut and T&A pictures among other things did something crazy. She made a bet that she could go this whole week without any smut or smutty pictures in her blog for a full week. So, to help her win the bet, I will place her normal post in my blog for one full week. Then, my blog goes back to the ordinary.

Now, guess who’s boobs these are? I hope she appreciates my efforts of helping her win a bet with the monkey boy Egan. Comment away……………

 It's Monday
Well, it's Monday. Hope everyone had a great weekend. My other half worked all weekend. None of our previous plans happened, but it was still an overall good relaxing weekend. Friday night we went and ate Chinese Food. Had to celebrate Chinese New Year in advance, right? LOL! On Saturday morning, I got up and took the dog to the groomer. It poured down rained until after lunch time. We needed it, so I'm not going to biatch. I was lazy the rest of the day. Saturday night we went to Posado's for Mexican food. It was good. While we were there we sat across from a table with two darling kids. The baby fever really set in. So whenI got home I called the nieces to see if they wanted to come over and stay the night. Of course, it was to late in the evening so I couldn't get a hold of them. Anyway, Sunday I actually got up and started cleaning. My mom called and asked if I wanted to meet her for lunch. So when I met her she had my nieces with her. The youngest had basketball pics that afternoon so I took the oldest one home with me. This was a real treat. Her being 15 now, she doesn't have much time for me. We had a wonderful afternoon. We went shopping then went back to my house and she downloaded about 150 songs off my itunes to her ipod. We watched Lifetime and then went back shopping. Finally we cooked snacks together and went back to my mom's after the other half got home for a PPV last night. She stayed at mom's with us and I took her home in the middle of it about 9 pm. We had a great time. She is so mature. She had 2 guys calling her on her cell. She even discussed guys with me. It made me feel cool again. LOL! She has 1 guy that she likes and has went out with twice already. He flirts with her non stop and has the right social status. He just isn't asking her out. Meanwhile, she has another guy that is really nice and she thinks he would treat her nice, but doesn't have the social status that is begging her to go out with him. (This is one of they guy's calling) The other guy calling is a friend of her step brother's that is interested. Oh, to be 15 again. I told her when she gets my age she would prefer the one that will treat her nice, but at her age she will prolly want to go with social status. She thought I really understood and that made me not such a dork to her, but almost cool. It really made me feel young again. It made me feel alive and even motivated me. I was working out at 10:30 last night when I got home and got back up at 5:00 am this morning and hit the treadmill. She was good for me. Anyway, I am taking her and her friend to the Fallout Boy Concert in March. This should show if I'm really cool or not. Hope everyone has a great day today and just want to say thanks to Jacee for hanging out with me yesterday. It meant more than she knows. For a 15 year old to have time for her 30 year old aunt and giving me quality time really meant the world to me!

 My Owner is an Idiot! Please Help Me!













 Facts about Texas
When you're from Texas, people that you meet ask you questions like, Do you have any cows?" "Do you have horses?" "Bet you got a bunch of guns, eh?"They all want to know if you've been to Southfork. They watched Dallas.

Have you ever looked at a map of the world? Look at Texas with me just for a second. That picture, with the Panhandle and the Gulf Coast, and the Red River and the Rio Grande is as much a part of you as anything ever will be.. As soon as anyone anywhere in the world looks at it they know what it is. It's Texas. Pick any kid off the street in Japan and draw him a picture of Texas in the dirt and he'll know what it is. What happens if I show you a picture of any other state? You might get it maybe after a second or two, but who else would? And even if you do, does it ever stir any feelings in you?

In every man, woman and child on this planet, there is a person who wishes just once he could be a real live Texan and get up on a horse or ride off in a pickup. There is some little bit of Texas in everyone.Texas is the Alamo, 183 men standing in a church, facing thousands of Mexican nationals, fighting for freedom, who had the chance to walk out and save themselves, but stayed instead to fight and die for the cause of freedom. We send our kids to schools named William B. Travis and James Bowie and Crockett and do you know why? Because those men saw a line in the sand and they decided to cross it and be heroes. John Wayne paid to do the movie himself. That is the Spirit of Texas.Texas is Sam Houston capturing Santa Ana at San Jacinto.Texas is "Juneteenth" and Texas Independence Day.Texas is huge! forests of Piney Woods like the Davy Crockett National Forest.Texas is breathtaking mountains in the Big Bend.Texas is the unparalleled beauty of bluebonnet fields in the Texas Hill Country.Texas is the beautiful, warm beaches of the Gulf Coast of South Texas.Texas is the shiny skyscrapers in Houston and Dallas.

Texas is world record bass from places like Lake Fork.Texas is Mexican food like nowhere else, not even Mexico.Texas is the Fort Worth Stockyards, Bass Hall, the Ballpark in Arlington and the Astrodome.Texas is larger-than-life legends like Michael DeBakey, Denton Cooley, Willie Nelson, Buddy Holly, Waylon Jennings, Janis Joplin, Kris Kristofferson, Tom Landry, Darrell Royal, ZZ Top, Eric Dickerson, Earl Campbell, Nolan Ryan, Sam Rayburn, George H. W.Bush, Lyndon B.Johnson.Texas is great companies like Dell Computer, Texas Instruments and Compaq. And LOCKHEED MARTIN AEROSPACE,! Home of the F-16 Jet Fighter and the JSF Fighter.Texas is NASA.Texas is huge herds of cattle and miles of crops.Texas is skies blackened with doves, and fields full of deer.Texas is a place where towns and cities shut down to watch the local High School Football game on Friday nights and for the Cowboys on Monday Night Football, and for the Night In Old San Antonio River Parade in San Antonio. Texas is ocean beaches, deserts, lake s and rivers, mountains and prairies, and modern cities.If it isn't in Texas, you probably don't need it.No one does anything bigger or better than it's done in Texas.

By federal law, Texas is the only state in the U.S. that can fly its flag at the same height as the U.S. flag. Think about that for a second. You fly the Stars and Stripes at 20 feet in Maryland, California, or Maine and your state flag, whatever it is, goes at 17 feet. You fly the Stars and Stripes in front of Pine Tree High in Longview or anyplace else at 20 feet, the Lone Star flies at the same height - 20 feet. Do you know why? Because it is the only state that was a republic before it became a state.

Also, being a Texan is as high as being an American down here. Our capitol is the only one in the country that is taller than the capitol building in Washington, D.C. and we can divide our state into five states at any time if we wanted to! We included these things as part of the deal when we came on. That's the best part, right there.Texas even has its own power grid!!

 How's the traffic?
How's the traffic?
It's Friday, everybody's favorite weekday! The weekend is just around the corner, and you probably have big plans.
There's just one obstacle to overcome before you can kick back and relax: traffic. Commuting is a grind any day of the week. But the Friday drive can be especially tedious.
Well, I have something to help you out. Traffic.com will show you what the traffic is like in your area. See which roads are busy or are getting busier. That way, you can plan alternate routes.
You can also save your searches once you register. When you return to the site, you can get a quick, personal traffic report.
GO HERE:www.traffic.com

 Are you still working?
So it is Friday later afternoon (3:00 pm Central). Who is stil working and for how long?




(This is actually animated and the head jumps out at you and is really cute!)

 Chinese New Year - Sunday, Jan. 29th
Okay, bloggers! I found us something to celebrate this weekend. So make sure you got eat Chinese food in the honor of Chinese New Year and definitely order you fortune cookie! Here is some history on it that I just found.

Chinese New Year starts with the New Moon on the first day of the new year and ends on the full moon 15 days later. The 15th day of the new year is called the Lantern Festival, which is celebrated at night with lantern displays and children carrying lanterns in a parade.
The Chinese calendar is based on a combination of lunar and solar movements. The lunar cycle is about 29.5 days. In order to "catch up" with the solar calendar the Chinese insert an extra month once every few years (seven years out of a 19-yearcycle). This is the same as adding an extra day on leap year. This is why, according to the solar calendar, the Chinese New Year falls on a different date each year.
New Year's Eve and New Year's Day are celebrated as a family affair, a time of reunion and thanksgiving. The celebration was traditionally highlighted with a religious ceremony given in honor of Heaven and Earth, the gods of the household and the family ancestors.
The sacrifice to the ancestors, the most vital of all the rituals, united the living members with those who had passed away. Departed relatives are remembered with great respect because they were responsible for laying the foundations for the fortune and glory of the family.
The presence of the ancestors is acknowledged on New Year's Eve with a dinner arranged for them at the family banquet table. The spirits of the ancestors, together with the living, celebrate the onset of the New Year as one great community. The communal feast called "surrounding the stove" or weilu. It symbolizes family unity and honors the past and present generations.

 Finally It Is Friday
I got a question to ask fellow bloggers. Does it bother you if no one comments on your blog? I had a RL friend a couple of weeks ago that posted she might quit blogging because no one commented on her blog. I mean I think some people only blog to vent and to use as a personal journal and doesn't care if anyone read it or comments or not. I think others do it to start up a conversation and that is their conversation back and forth all day to keep them sane at work. I personally check out every person on my peep list at least once a day during the week if not more. If there is a new post, I post on every one of them. If I see someone new posting in their comments I check out their blog as well. There are a few blogs I frequent quite often during the day. If I see someone comments on my blog, I try to comment on theirs if they have one. So my question is if someone comments on your blog should you be courtesy enough to check out their blog in return and at least comment? Do you care how many comments you get a day? If personally doesn't matter to me. I post to many things a day for a high comment # on every post. I may not getting any comments and I might get a bunch. It just personally doesn't bother me anyway. I thought comments on her regarding this post might help her see other points of view if she reads this.

Anyway, on with another note. It is Friday! Woo-hoo! I have been exhausted all week. I finally figured it out. I have been having weird off the wall dreams all week. I should write them down when I wake up from them, cuz once I go back to sleep and wake up again I remember them being weird, but don't remember them. Does that make sense? I usually only dream or have bad nightmares when I'm ragging really hard. I think it is a hormone thing. Well, I finished PMSing on Tuesday so why am I having crazy dreams? I blame it on Mackenzie. She keeps telling us about these off the wall dreams of hers. Maybe I'm spending to much time on her blog and it is contagious and I'm now getting her weird dreams. Who knows? Either way, I figure anyone that frequents her blog would get tickled about me blaming my weird dreams on her.

Finally, it if Friday! So enjoy and hopefully it will go by quickly so everyone can enjoy their weekend!

 Just When You Thought You Had Everything









 Medical Insurance Explained
MEDICAL INSURANCE EXPLAINED

Q. What does HMO stand for?
A. This is actually a variation of the phrase, "HEY MOE." Its roots go back to a concept pioneered by Moe of the Three Stooges, who discovered that a patient could be made to forget the pain in his foot if he was poked hard enough in the eye.

Q. I just joined an HMO. How difficult will it be to choose the doctor I want?
A. Just slightly more difficult than choosing your parents. Your insurer will provide you with a book listing all the doctors in the plan. The doctors basically fall into two categories--those who are no longer accepting new patients, and those who will see you but are no longer participating in the plan. But don't worry, the remaining doctor who is still in the plan and accepting new patients has an office just a half-day's drive away and a diploma from a third world country.

Q. Do all diagnostic procedures require pre-certification?
A. No. Only those you need.

Q. Can I get coverage for my preexisting conditions?
A. Certainly, as long as they don't require any treatment.

Q What happens if I want to try alternative forms of medicine?
A. You'll need to find alternative forms of payment.

Q. My pharmacy plan only covers generic drugs, but I need the name brand. I tried the generic medication, but it gave me a stomach ache. What should I do?
A. Poke yourself in the eye.

Q. What if I'm away from home and I get sick?
A. You really shouldn't do that.

Q. I think I need to see a specialist, but my doctor insists he can handle my problem. Can a general practitioner really perform a heart transplant right in his/her office?
A. Hard to say, but considering that all your risking is the $20 co-payment, there's no harm in giving it a shot.

Q. Will health care be different in the next century?
A. No, but if you call right now, you might get an appointment bythen.

 One More Day of Hell
Well it is Thursday and we have one more day of hell. I have been exhausted all week. I did manage to get our personal taxes done last night which was a huge relieve. I think Max might work Saturday and Sunday, so I'll prolly get the dog groomed and get the house all tidy up from being lazy all week. Anyway, this is so unlike me not to have much to say today. I'm sure I'll think of something and post more later. For now, have a great day and remember only one more day in the work week!

 Up for a game of tennis?
Up for a game of tennis?
The premise of the Tennis Challenge is simple. You have to keep the tennis ball in the air as long as possible. Click it with your mouse to stop it from landing on the court. Sounds easy, doesn't it? Think again. It is quite challenging.

tinyurl.com/a3pe8

harder than it sounds…

 BUDWEISER FROGS


 1040 EZ 2 DO TO TAX FORM


 Classified Ads
Some fine examples:

FREE YORKSHIRE TERRIER
8 years old. Hateful little bitch. Bites.

FREE PUPPIES
1/2 Cocker Spaniel, 1/2 sneaky neighbor's dog.

FREE PUPPIES
Part German Shepherd, part stupid dog.

FREE GERMAN SHEPHERD
85 lbs. Neutered. Speaks German.

COWS, CALVESNever bred.
Also 1 gay bull for sale.

NORDIC TRACK
$300Hardly used, call Chubby.

GEORGIA PEACHES
California grown - 89 cents lb.

WASHER & DRYER
Must sell $300. Joining nudist colony!

WEDDING DRESS FOR SALE
Worn once by mistake. Call Stephanie.

(AND THE BEST ONE)

FOR SALE BY OWNER:Complete set of Encyclopedia Britannica. 45 volumes. Excellent condition.$1,000 or best offer. No longer needed, got married last month. Wife knows everything.

 PMS Alert!
1. P ass M y S hotgun
2. P sychotic M ood S hift
3. P erpetual M unching S pree
4. P uffy M id-S ection
5. P eople M ake me S ick
6. P rovide M e with S weets
7. P ardon M y S obbing
8. P imples M ay S urface
9. P ass M y S weatpants
10.P issy M ood S yndrome
11. P lainly M en S uck
12. P ack M y S tuff
13. P otential M urder S uspect

And as an example:
Q: How many women with PMS does it take to change a light bulb?
A: One!!! ONLY ONE!!!! And do you know WHY? Because no one else in this house knows HOW tochange a light bulb! They don't even know that the bulb is BURNED OUT!! They'd sit there in the darkfor THREE DAYS before they figured it out!! And, once they figured it out, they wouldn't be able tofind the light bulbs despite the fact they've been in the SAME CUPBOARD for the past 13 YEARS! Butif they did, by some miracle of God, actually findthe bulbs 2 DAYS LATER, the chair they dragged tostand on to change the STUPID light bulb would STILL BE IN THE SAME SPOT!!!!! AND UNDERNEATH IT WOULD BE THE WRAPPER THE STUPID LIGHT BULBS CAMEIN!!! BECAUSE NO ONE EVER CARRIES OUT THEGARBAGE!!!! IT'S A WONDER WE HAVEN'T ALLSUFFOCATED FROM THE PILES OF GARBAGE THAT ARE A FOOT DEEP THROUGHOUT THE ENTIRE HOUSE!! IT WOULD TAKEAN ARMY TO CLEAN THIS DAMNED HOUSE! I'm sorry. What was your question?

 How Rich Are You?
Go to this site and put in your salary to see how you compare to the rest of the world. Supposedly I am filthy rich. Something wrong here!!

www.globalrichlist.com

 Electric Company
I complained about my recent electric bill and here's the response !!

Dear Electric Customer,
Just a little note to let you know we understand your anger in the recent price hike. But it should be noted that you have no choice. We are a big company and you will pay what we tell you. You have no choice. We have the power, you need the power. So sad, too bad. Sucks to be you. We have enclosed a little picture to help outline our response. Have a nice day and keep those checks coming, loser! Sincerely,
Your Local Power Co.

 The Weekend
Hello, fellow bloggers! How was your weekend? Mine was pretty low keyed. Friday night we went out and ate Mexican. We had to wait for a table which meant more time at the bar. Yeah! Saturday we did errands all day. Yuck! I did get to meet up with Leslie and Amy (www.amyrowden.blogspot.com) on Saturday for lunch at Snuffers on lower Greenville. It is always good to see them. Saturday night we watched Band Camp - American Pie movie. It was funny. Not quite as funny as the other, but still funny. Sunday we got up early and ate breakfast with a friend, then did more errands. We went for late lunch at mom's and then came home for a nap. Yes, it was a lazy weekend. We finally got rain and it made everyone lazy. I watched Hustle and Flow last night and was disppointed. I started Mr and Mrs Smith, but will have to finish it this week. I got sleepy. I missed the L Word last night, so please don't tell me what happened. I have it on Tivo. When I'll watch it I don't know. I have to finish Mr and Mrs Smith and watch the Gauntlet and Roller Girls tonight. Oh, what a busy schedule I have. LOL! So, how was your weekend?

 Pics from the Past

I found this pic the other night. This is about (4) or (5) monthes after divorce. I had lost about 35 lbs I ganined while married, I was tanning (Note: except for the face as you can tell cause it is so white) and my hair was really blonde. I was back to my old days. This pic was from my RL friend Leslie's b-day party at Joe's Crab Shack. It was taken with one om my best guy buddies CC. I cropped him because I figured he wouldn't want his pic floating around online. Of course he could because he is single and ready to mingle. LOL! Anyway, my goal is to get back to this size or maybe a little heavier than this, but close. I was like a size (3) here and at 5'9 1/4" that is small for the height. Anyway, I would like to go back to a (5) or even a (7) for height would be okay. Anyway, after drinks at Joe's we went to a club and danced all night. It was great! The next pic I have for you is one that momma (www.mommastime.blogspot.com) found and gave to Max one night at the bar. It was taken about a month before Max and I got together. One night her and I were hanging out at her condo just acting silly. Her friend Steve was there and my friend Zack was on his way over to drink with us. We found a condem in Steve's wallet (I think - momma may remember better) and I was blowing it up. I thought it was a funny pic. We left condems on the front door and had Steve with his pants undone acting like her and I just tagged teamed Steve just to see Zack's reaction. Zack was a nice guy, but didn't have his shit straight. He was a great cuddeler, but never once tried anything on me even though he acted interested. Momma and I decided he was gay. So one night momma and I are at HOOTERS drinking and looking at boys and Zack called me on my cell. I was a little intoxicated and asked him if he was gay. I think momma spit out her beera. She was so in shock. Well, later on that night or week or sometime he came by to have a serious talk with me. I just knew he was going to admit to me he was gay. I didn't care, cause he was my friend and I would support him either way. Anyway, he admitted he had secretly been inlove with this girl. I knew of her. She was way to good for him, but I couldn't tell him that. Of course, I didn't want him. I just like to have him around when I had no one else to cuddle with. Later on I heard her and him did get together, but it was a mess. He had a drinking problem and she has a kid and the two didn't go together real well. Anyway, I don't think I have any pics of momma and I, which sucks. Maybe momma has some of us to that I can post.

 My Nieces and Me
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My ex sister-n-law (brother's ex wife) sent this to me today. She found it in some photos. She got remarried a couple of years ago and the youngst asked me to do her hair for the wedding. Not that you can tell it this pics, but I had put curls all in her hair. The oldest was to cool for curls and wanted hers to be as straight as a bored. Anyway, after I got them dressed and ready my ex sister-n-law's sister took this of the girls and I together. When I opened it up in an email a while ago I was so happy to find this treasure. Anything with my nieces just highlights my life and puts a smile on my face. They are truelly an inspiration to me and my pride and joy.

 Do you have feelings of inadequacy?

Do you have feelings of inadequacy? Do you suffer from shyness? Do you sometimes wish you were more assertive? If you answered yes to any of these questions, ask your doctor or pharmacist about Tequila(r). Tequila(r) is the safe, natural way to feel better and more confidentabout yourself and your actions. Tequila(r) can help ease you out of your shyness and let you tell theworld that you're ready and willing to do just about anything. You will notice the benefits of Tequila(r) almost immediately, and witha regimen of regular doses you can overcome any obstacles that preventyou from living the life you want to live. Shyness and awkwardness will be a thing of the past, and you willdiscover many talents you never knew you had. Stop hiding and start living, with Tequila(r). Tequila(r) may not be right for everyone. Women who are pregnant or nursing should not use Tequila(r). However,women who wouldn't mind nursing or becoming pregnant are encouraged to tryit. Side effects may include dizziness, nausea, vomiting, incarceration, erotic lustfulness, loss of motor control, loss of clothing, loss of money, loss of virginity, delusions of grandeur, table dancing,headache, dehydration, dry mouth, and a desire to sing Karaoke and play all-night rounds of Strip Poker, Truth Or Dare, and Naked Twister. Tequila(r). Leave Shyness Behind

 Rock Falling From the Sky

Wouldn't this suck? You are sitting in the lazy boy and all of a sudden - WOMP! A huge rock falls out of the sky and through your roof.

 Mommas - Please Answer This For Me?

Okay. I have not had any babies. I don't really believe this, but can you really see the foot like this when you are pregnant? What is its a boy? Could you see his "third leg" if it was pushed against your belly? Yuck! Sorry mental picture. Please educate me on pregnancy.

 Wet Pussy

I just thought this was so cute I couldn't help but post it. What is up with these anal looking pussies this week?

 Last Night

Last night was a blast. Got to happy hour about 5:30. We ate chips and salsa and drank several items on the menu. Started out with the extra large $2 schooners of beera. Yeah! Then moved to margarittas. Tanya is counting calories so she did the wine. Why? I have no clue. She weight a whole buck o' five. Must be nice to be small and have willpower. Anyway, it felt so good to just vent, if nothing else. We really all have to do this more often. I hate we can only fit it in about once a month or so. Even the guys had fun with us. I made it to work today with no hang over, so all is well. Only one more day to go. Yeah!

P.S. I threw in this pic for a quick peek to start off your day!

 Office Memo
MEMO:
Please note that at this End of Quarter Celebration office party there will be only one drink per person , & please bring your own cup.







 Black Boxes in Pick Up Trucks


 The Puppy is Scared of the Pussy

Wow! Look at that dog run. That is one anal looking pussy though. I would prolly run to. I think that pussy thinks it is a tiger or something. Anyway, it is Wednesday. So everyone do the HUMP DANCE! Yeah, do da dance. Do da hump dance. *Sonya jumps in middle of post and starts doing the cabbage patch* Well, tonight I have happy hour planned. Something good to look forward to. Hope everyone has a great day!

 The Picture on the night stand...
The Picture on the night stand...
After a long night of making love, he notices a photo ofanother man on her nightstand by the bed. He begins to worry."Is this your husband?" he nervously asks."No, silly," she replies, snuggling up to him."Your boyfriend, then?" he continues."No, not at all," she says, nibbling away at his ear."Is it your dad or your brother?" he inquires, hoping to be reassured."No, no, no!!!" she answers."Well, who in the hell is he, then?" he demands."That's me before the surgery."

 Recommended Purchases of the Week

I've decided when I find a great item I am going to promote it. We are starting this week off with (2) items. The first one is Silky Sheets. I recomend the Pear Blossom Scent. This is best used to spray into the room after sex to get the after sex smell out. Another great use is, how many times does the wet spot after sex end up on your side of the bed? Well, you spray this on the wet spot and it contains talc powder that will dry up the wet spot so you can sleep and wash the sheets the next morning. This is a great item to keep in your night stand beside the bed at all times.

The next item I would like to promote today is Coochy Cream. This is great to use for shaving the coochy area. Also after you shave with it you can apply it on the area the next day as a conditioneer to the skin. This will relieve you of those little red shave burn bumps. Guys who shave their head can also use this. It works great on heads. This is a must to keep in the shower at all times.

Has anyone tried either? If so what do you think? If not, do you have any questions.

 Funnies