Friday, February 24, 2006
Rude vs. Over SensitivityI have controversial question for today’s post. I hate to end the week all serious, but I am. I will prolly post something else later today that is lighter. Either way I’ll have a Freaky Friday story coming in a bit. As always, if you are here for Friday funnies you can go to my sidebar to Places I Frequent and check out the newest funnies videos for laughter.
Here is my question. Do you believe that if someone can’t say something nice they shouldn’t say anything at all? I was brought up this way. I’m sure I may say something rude to people and not realize it and if I have ever done this to any of you, I want to apologize right now. I am truly sorry.
Do you know of anyone that ever makes comments and you just think to yourself how rude? Does it make it any better when you call them out on it and there reaction was they were just kidding? Joking around is fun. I love joking as much of anybody. When this is a constant thing a person does and it is always their explanation that they were just joking, does it get old quick? Is it is a sign of immaturity or insecurity on the rude person’s behalf or is it the person receiving the rude comment being overly sensitive? Could it be a little of both?
I would like to know everyone’s comments, complaints and thoughts on rude people. I read an article awhile back that said a certain percentage of people that said something kidding really meant it. I don’t mean the statistics, but there was a high percentage. Basically it was like 90% of what most people saying kidding they really mean, but say it kidding to not sound so rude. I believe this. I know Superspy had a post the other day about rude people so she should definitely have a good comment. Also PPP has been dealing with a rude woman at work. Just want a general census on rude people. So, comment away and have a great Friday and even better weekend to come!
Edit: For next week theme go to EE's post for information.
Sonya said at 6:02 AM
Comments:
I love rude people because I always have some wise ass comeback to put them in their place.
Six months after my wife's mother died, her stepfather and I had a talk. This was right after we got engaged. He told me that I ought to think twice about marrying her because we seem to fight alot, and that she can be really unreasonable. I thanked him for the advice, and told him that I really appreciated it because I knew what an expert he was on marriage, since her mother was his fifth wife and all.
That was the last conversation I ever had with the man.
Six months after my wife's mother died, her stepfather and I had a talk. This was right after we got engaged. He told me that I ought to think twice about marrying her because we seem to fight alot, and that she can be really unreasonable. I thanked him for the advice, and told him that I really appreciated it because I knew what an expert he was on marriage, since her mother was his fifth wife and all.
That was the last conversation I ever had with the man.
Rude people annoy me -- especially in my case. As a woman in law enforcement you have to get used to f words, the blonde jokes, the sex jokes, etc....... However, the chick (haha) I am dealing with, has been in law enforcement for probably 25 years -- she of all people should know. Here is the irony, two men officers used the chick word to test her yesterday in front of her and she didn't say a thing. The moral of this story he has a problem with girly women, such as myself.
I am nice unless your rude to me, then I can from nice-bitch real quick.
I am nice unless your rude to me, then I can from nice-bitch real quick.
Flounder - I can see you being a smart ass back. LOL!
PPP - I think she is just looking for something to start with you about. She has issues.
I feel like you catch more bees with honey than vinger. Right? Damm, did that sound like Dr. Phil? LOL!
PPP - I think she is just looking for something to start with you about. She has issues.
I feel like you catch more bees with honey than vinger. Right? Damm, did that sound like Dr. Phil? LOL!
Admin - I do that to. I say what I mean, but then I say I'm sorry if I hurt your feeling or you didn't like what I had to say, but this is the way I feel. I believe 2 people can have a difference of opinions and agree to disagree without being rude. Does that make sense?
Sonya-I hate the fact that people can be rude.
I always believed too if you can't say something nice don't say something at all.
You said:Joking around is fun. I love joking as much of anybody. When this is a constant thing a person does and it is always their explanation that they were just joking, does it get old quick?
I agree with you there. It gets old real quick.
I am sure I have tried to come off to someone as joking and it sounded rude and I apologize if I do that.
When commenting I always try to get a feel on what that person is feeling that day so I don't sound rude or unsensitive.
Have a great weekend!! huggiezz
I always believed too if you can't say something nice don't say something at all.
You said:Joking around is fun. I love joking as much of anybody. When this is a constant thing a person does and it is always their explanation that they were just joking, does it get old quick?
I agree with you there. It gets old real quick.
I am sure I have tried to come off to someone as joking and it sounded rude and I apologize if I do that.
When commenting I always try to get a feel on what that person is feeling that day so I don't sound rude or unsensitive.
Have a great weekend!! huggiezz
Generally, I do believe in that golden rule.
However, there are are always exceptions. If the person is a good friend, I will gently call them on rudeness. If they are a really good friend, I will tell them in no uncertain terms. Additionally, I expect the same from my friends when I am rude.
As for general friends and others, I would not call them on being rude unless thier rudeness was impacting someone who needed someone to stand up for them. I can't think of an example, but surely you get my drift. If someone is habitually rude, I would just stay away from that person.
Oh, and another thing, I like your serious posts.
However, there are are always exceptions. If the person is a good friend, I will gently call them on rudeness. If they are a really good friend, I will tell them in no uncertain terms. Additionally, I expect the same from my friends when I am rude.
As for general friends and others, I would not call them on being rude unless thier rudeness was impacting someone who needed someone to stand up for them. I can't think of an example, but surely you get my drift. If someone is habitually rude, I would just stay away from that person.
Oh, and another thing, I like your serious posts.
I was raised that way, too, but I make exceptions when provoked or annoyed first.
I am a very nice, laid-back, easy going person, but rudeness - especially behind the wheel - really gets to me.
I am a very nice, laid-back, easy going person, but rudeness - especially behind the wheel - really gets to me.
yes m'dear of course it makes sense...
And then there is those who you have to be rude to, to get through.
And then there is those who you have to be rude to, to get through.
strange this post is going up when it is - I have had trouble in the past when I have been perceived as the rude one, but is being blunt and honest really being rude?
Does this dress make me look fat? No, your ass makes you look fat!
Ok, so with that said - should people change their entire persona based on who they are surrounded by? Yes, sometimes. Some people are obviously more "thinned skinned" than the norm and can't take the wryness or cynicalness of others. I am old enough to know when a little white lie is in order, but I usually tell the truth and tell it like I see it. Sometimes I am perceived as rude for this, but the truth takes you a long way and if it pushes me farther from people that say they care about me...that's sad. Living in reality is mandatory - I am a pragmatist, but tend to be very cynical. I know this. I should hope distinguishing between rudeness and honesty is not what is happening, but who knows.
I love and care for everyone I associate myself with; I would not be near them if I didn't.
I think there should be a line drawn for someone joking to intentially hurt someone's feelings. That IS rude, even if they send an attached apology after the snide remark.
I agree with what someone said earlier - beneath every joke lies the truth! There is more than likely an ounce of truth under someone's joking comment.
rudely yours :)
ames
Does this dress make me look fat? No, your ass makes you look fat!
Ok, so with that said - should people change their entire persona based on who they are surrounded by? Yes, sometimes. Some people are obviously more "thinned skinned" than the norm and can't take the wryness or cynicalness of others. I am old enough to know when a little white lie is in order, but I usually tell the truth and tell it like I see it. Sometimes I am perceived as rude for this, but the truth takes you a long way and if it pushes me farther from people that say they care about me...that's sad. Living in reality is mandatory - I am a pragmatist, but tend to be very cynical. I know this. I should hope distinguishing between rudeness and honesty is not what is happening, but who knows.
I love and care for everyone I associate myself with; I would not be near them if I didn't.
I think there should be a line drawn for someone joking to intentially hurt someone's feelings. That IS rude, even if they send an attached apology after the snide remark.
I agree with what someone said earlier - beneath every joke lies the truth! There is more than likely an ounce of truth under someone's joking comment.
rudely yours :)
ames
I have worked very hard on myself to eliminate negativity. I just think it is almost never called for.
As for having to suffer it from others, thankfully I don't have any of that in my life now. Cross my fingers.
Have a nice weekend
As for having to suffer it from others, thankfully I don't have any of that in my life now. Cross my fingers.
Have a nice weekend
Gary - I try to avoid those people the best I can, but sometime you don't have a chose in the matter. (EX: work, grocery store, traffic, etc.)I try to keep the negativity out of my life too. So, I totally understand and agree with your point of view. Thanks! Have a great weekend!
I honestly don't know many rude people. Most people I can think of that sometimes say rude things, are high strung people that probably don't realize how awful their comment sounded.
Chris ocassionaly says something awful and then as soon as he sees "the look" I give him, he inserts a quick laugh & says "I was kidding!" Drives me up a wall, so I call him on it.
Chris ocassionaly says something awful and then as soon as he sees "the look" I give him, he inserts a quick laugh & says "I was kidding!" Drives me up a wall, so I call him on it.
Great topic. Of course the definition of rude varies. People that tell you things you don't need to know are hateful and spiteful IMO. There's a girl at work who constantly rides a friend of mine with: You really need to cover up your roots. You need to clean those shoes. I find that unnecesary. But I had a co-worker who once told me I'd look better if I did something with my wild eyebrows. That didn't bother me. So maybe it's the tone or the perceived tone. If you know that the person is trying to "put you down" then they are plain mean and vindictive. If you think that they are offering an honest opinion, for your own good, that's ok with me.
Rude to me is:
people who will cut in front of you in line, going through doorways, etc.;
people who, when you are in a conversation with someone, just butt in and talk to the someone about something else;
people who won't let you finish your sentence in a conversation without over-talking you;
people who purposely ignore you.
These people I can do without and try to avoid.
Rude to me is:
people who will cut in front of you in line, going through doorways, etc.;
people who, when you are in a conversation with someone, just butt in and talk to the someone about something else;
people who won't let you finish your sentence in a conversation without over-talking you;
people who purposely ignore you.
These people I can do without and try to avoid.
Some people are rude and demeaning because it makes them feel better about themselves. As for the theory that you shouldn't say anything if you can't say anything nice, I don't completely buy into that either. There are times when you should just keep your mouth shut but there are also times when you should say something no matter how hurtful it may be.
Kim - my S.O. knows that look too. LOL!
Lasann - there is definitely different degrees of rude.
Drunk - Very good point. It could be their own complex.
Mac - I love to kill them with kindness. They flip you off, you smile and wave.
Lasann - there is definitely different degrees of rude.
Drunk - Very good point. It could be their own complex.
Mac - I love to kill them with kindness. They flip you off, you smile and wave.
Lasann said exactly what I came back here to say!
I always give a wave when someone allows me in while driving. Even when they probably don't deserve a wave sometimes.
What kills me is the cut in line and no "excuse me", or ignoring me when holding the door open for them.
I always give a wave when someone allows me in while driving. Even when they probably don't deserve a wave sometimes.
What kills me is the cut in line and no "excuse me", or ignoring me when holding the door open for them.
Ames - Why is it weird?
I agree with what you said. Behind ever joke in some truth. I think you hit that on the nose.
I agree with what you said. Behind ever joke in some truth. I think you hit that on the nose.
Hello, everyone! Sorry if I'm late on commenting. I am a dummy and lost my comments. I just took the time to get them back.
I ditto Princess' statment...I am a nice person. But if someone is rude or not nice to me, I turn bitch real quickly.
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