Sonya's boring life...
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Location: TEXAS, United States

This blog isn't for any prudes. It is known to be a little comical, a little sick, and sometimes X-rated. Then there is just the moments of pure boring stuff. Quote: 5% of our life is making decisions, the other 95% of our life is dealing with the decision we made.

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Thursday 13




Previously

Bless The USA
Monday Misc
Cinco de Mayo
Hump Day- What is in a Name?
Kidd Rock
Out of Office Reply
Tequila and Salt
Can of Worms
Bounce
Thursday 13

Credits

Image from :iStock Photo
Template by :Emily


Wednesday, May 10, 2006
Bar
 Wild Wednesday Funnies
OK listen up! As every southerner knows it's time to get ready for that all important cooking technique of the south---outdoor Grilling! I have found several stores (not just in the south) where you can get a FREE Bar-B-Q Grill! This is not a joke. You can get a free BBQ grill from any of the following stores: A&P
Albertsons
Costco
Food Lion
Fry's
Kroger
Big Lots
Brookshire's
Meijer
Publix
Safeway
Sam's Club
TargetVons
Wal-Mart
Winn-Dixieand
even our beloved New Orleans Robert's
I especially like the higher shelf which can be used for keeping things warm!














~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

One day, in line at the company cafeteria, Joe says to Mike behind him, "My elbow hurts like hell. I guess I'd better see a doctor." "Listen, you don't have to spend that kind of money," Mike replies. "There's a diagnostic computer down at Wal-Mart. Just give it a urine sample and the computer will tell you what's wrong and what to do about it. It takes ten seconds and costs ten dollars . . . A lot cheaper than a doctor." So, Joe deposits a urine sample in a small jar and takes it to Wal-Mart. He deposits ten dollars, and the computer lights up and asks for the urine sample. He pours the sample into the slot and waits. Ten seconds later, the computer ejects a printout: "You have tennis elbow. Soak your arm in warm water and avoid heavy activity. It will improve in two weeks. Thank you for shopping @ Wal-Mart." That evening, while thinking how amazing this new technology was, Joe began wondering if the computer could be fooled. He mixed some tap water, a stool sample from his dog, urine samples from his wife and daughter, and a sperm sample for good measure. Joe hurries back to Wal-Mart, eager to check the results. He deposits ten dollars, pours in his concoction, and awaits the results. The computer prints the following:
1. Your tap water is too hard. Get a water softener. (Aisle 9)
2. Your dog has ringworm. Bathe him with anti-fungal shampoo. (Aisle 7)
3. Your daughter has a cocaine habit. Get her into rehab.
4. Your wife is pregnant. Twins. They aren't yours. Get a lawyer.
5. If you don't stop playing with yourself, your elbow will never get better!
Thank you for shopping @ Wal-Mart

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

New Drugs for WomenDear Friends:
Is it prescribed or over-the-counter drug? Is it brand name or generic? Is it covered by the insurance or not? These are among many questions that people are faced here in the US. and in the meantime, there are new products coming to market regularly after receiving FDA's green light.
Here we have a list of new drugs for women that can bring smile to your face.

D A M N I T O L Take 2 and the rest of the world can go to hell for up to 8 full hours.

E M P T Y N E S T R O G E N Suppository that eliminates melancholy and loneliness by reminding you of how awful they were as teenagers and how you couldn't wait till they moved out.

S T. M O M M A 'S W O R T Plant extract that treats mom's depression by rendering preschoolers unconscious for up to two days.

P E P T O B I M B O Liquid silicone drink for single women. Two full cups swallowed before an evening out increases breast size, decreases intelligence, and prevents conception.

D U M B E R O L When taken with Peptobimbo, can cause dangerously low IQ, resulting in enjoyment of country music and pickup trucks.

F L I P I T O R Increases life expectancy of commuters by controlling road rage and the urge to flip off other drivers.

M E N I C I L L I N Potent anti-boy-otic for older women. Increases resistance to such lethal lines as, "You make me want to be a better person. Can we get naked now?"

B U Y A G R A Injectable stimulant taken prior to shopping Increases potency, duration, and credit limit of spending spree.

J A C K A S S P I R I N Relieves headache caused by a man who can't remember your birthday, anniversary, phone number, or to lift the toilet seat.

A N T I - T A L K S I D E N T A spray carried in a purse or wallet to be used on anyone too eager to share their life stories with total strangers in elevators.

N A G A M E N T When administered to a boyfriend or husband, provides the same irritation level as nagging him.
Sonya said at 4:31 AM
Comments:
I'll take 2 of the D A M N I T O L, please. LOL!

I LOVE that first funny. Hilarious.
 
ee- i need several of these. LOL!
 
OMG, loved the cart, I mean grill!! :)
 
I've always wanted one of those grills. :-)

Mmmmm, bbq.
 
uisce - I thought that was funny too.

Kim - I would like some bbq right now, but not off that grill. LOL!
 
Funny funny stuff girl you crack me up. I am coming to big D this weekend to shop on Harry Hines I need me a new purse and some dammitol!
 
Poody - we are going to the one in Frisco instead of Dallas this weekend.
 
that grill is freakin funny
 
lmao!
How did you get a picture of my families grill?
 
Jodes - LOL!

Sherry - it was from your cook out. LOL!
 
OMG I'm dumb - I was bout to say free grill? SIgn me up! then realized I missed the pic - doh :/
 
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