I heard this morning on the celebrity gossip on the news that Anna Nicole Smith announced she is pregnant. Why would she want to gain weight again after she just lost it all? You see this is why I'm not going on a diet. I would hate to lose a bunch of weight then finally get pregnant. That would be luck. At least it is a good enough excuse for me so I don't have to watch what I eat and exercise. LOL!
Today, I would like to offer donuts to everyone. I heard this morning that it was National Donut Day. In 1938, civilians would take donuts to the world war II fighters to say thank you, so on June 2, 1938 they returned the favor to the civilians. This is if I understood correctly while getting ready for work and listening to the news. I'm sure I'll get corrected on this numerous times today. LOL! That is okay, cuz I already know I don't have the story correct.
My mom made some good homemade ice cream last night. On the way to go eat some, we stopped by our new home. Construction has started. They has started forming up for the slab. Here are a couple of pics:
Finally for some fun. This something that will either make you laugh with it or offend you one. Sorry. I don't mean to offend anyone. Have fun with these:
WOMAN'S PERFECT BREAKFAST
She's sitting at the table with her gourmet coffee. Her son is on the cover of the Wheaties box. Her daughter is on the cover of Business Week. Her boyfriend is on the cover of Playgirl. And her husband is on the back of the milk carton.
"Cash, check or charge?" I asked, after folding items the woman wished to purchase. As she fumbled for her wallet, I noticed a remote control for a television set in her purse. "So, do you always carry your TV remote?"I asked. "No," she replied, " but my husband refused to come shoppingwith me, and I figured this was the most evil thing I could do to him legally."
UNDERSTANDING WOMEN (A MAN'S PERSPECTIVE)
I know I'm not going to understand women. I'll never understand how you can take boiling hot wax, pour it onto your upper thigh, rip the hair out by the root, and STILL be afraid ofa spider.
While attending a Marriage Seminar dealing with communication, Tom and his wife Grace listened to the instructor, "It is essentialthat husbands and wives know each other's likes and dislikes." He addressed the man, "Can you name your wife's favorite flower?" Tom leaned over, touched his wife's arm gently and whispered, "It's Pillsbury, isn'tit?
CIGARETTES AND TAMPONS
A man walks into a pharmacy and wanders up and down the aisles. The sales girl notices him and asks him if she can help him. He answers that he is looking for a box of tampons for his wife. She directs him down the correct aisle. A few minutes later, he deposits a huge bag of cotton balls and a ball of string on the counter. She says, confused, "Sir, I thought you were looking for some tampons for your wife? He answers, " You see, it'slike this, yesterday, I sent my wife to the store to get me a carton of cigarettes, and she came back with a tin of tobacco and some rolling papers; cause it's sooooooooooo much cheaper. So, I figure if I haveto roll my own .......... so does she. (I figure this guy is the one onthe milk carton! )
WIFE VS. HUSBAND
A couple drove down a country road for several miles, not saying aword. An earlier discussion had led to an argument and neither of themwanted to concede their position. As they passed a barnyard of mules, goats, and pigs, the husband asked sarcastically, "Relatives of yours?" "Yep," the wife replied,"in-laws."
W O R D S
A husband read an article to his wife about how many words women use a day...30,000 to a man's 15,000. The wife replied, "The reason has tobe because we have to repeat everything to men... The husband then turned to his wife and asked, "What?"
A man said to his wife one day, "I don't know how you can be so stupid and so beautiful all at the same time. "The wife responded, "Allow meto explain. God made me beautiful so you would be attracted to me; God made me stupid so I would be attracted to you!
WHO DOES WHAT
A man and his wife were having an argument about who should brew the coffee each morning. The wife said, "You should do it, because you get up first, and then we don't have to wait as long to get our coffee."The husband said, "You are in charge of cooking around here and you should do it, because that is your job, and I can just wait for my coffee." Wife replies, "No, you should do it, and besides, it is in the Bible that the man should do the coffee." Husband replies, "I can't believe that, show me." So she fetched the Bible, and opened the New Testament and showed him at the top of several pages, that it indeed says..........
"HEBREWS" The Silent Treatment A man and his wife were having some problems at home and were giving each other the silent treatment. Suddenly, the man realized that the next day, he would need his wife to wake him at 5:00 AM for an early morning business flight. Not wanting to be the first to break the silence (and LOSE), he wrote on a piece of paper, "Please wake me at 5:00 AM." He left it where he knew she would find it. The nextmorning, the man woke up, only to discover it was 9:00 AM and he had missed his flight. Furious, he was about to go and see why his wife hadn'twakened him, when he noticed a piece of paper by the bed. The paper said, "Itis 5:00 AM. Wake up." Men are not equipped for these kinds of contests.
That is a lovely mound of dirt you've got there! Can't wait until it is a house. *grin*
...then she gained back 60 while she was pregnant.
...then she lost 35 within a few weeks of giving birth.
...which is a net minus twenty if you are keeping score.
Flounder - that more than evened itself out.
Jodes - Hope your bracelet kit makes it in. I ordered mine too.
WHOO HOO on the house too ... that will be great - excited for you.
I was rolling with some of those statements - thanks for sharing! Have a great weekend.
Anna Nicole is a stupid ho....anything to get back in the 15 minute of fame spotlight...puhleeze i can't even be interested in her stupid ass..all i can say is poor baby
Beading - you too!
How exciting about your house!
Have a great wkend Sonya!
Oh and you never answered me, what did you think of The Hills???
It looks like it'll be an awesome season! I'm excited about it!
LOLOL at the jokes. Have a great weekend, I know I will :p
The jokes were so funny!! I needed some husband/wife humor.