WHAT DOES A KISS TASTE LIKE?
One day a teacher had a taste test with her students. She picked a little boy to do the first test. She blindfolded him, put a Hershey kiss in his mouth and asked, "Do you know what it is?" "No, I don't,"said the little boy. "Okay, I'll give you a clue. It's the thing your daddy wants from your Mom before he goes to work." Suddenly, a little girl at the back of the room yelled, "Spit it out! It's a piece of ass!"
Inside every older person is a younger person -- wonderingWhat the hell happened.
Inside me lives a skinny woman crying to get out. But I canusually shut her up with cookies. & chocolate.
The hardest years in life are those between ten and seventy.I refuse to think of them as chin hairs. I think of them asStray eyebrows.Things are going to get a lot worse before they get worse.
A male gynecologist is like an auto mechanic who never owned a car.
Laugh and the world laughs with you. Cry and you cry with yourgirlfriends.
My second favorite household chore is ironing. My first one being-- hitting my head on the top bunk bed until I faint.
Old age ain't no place for sissies.
A man's got to do what a man's got to do. A woman must do what he can't.
The phrase "working mother" is redundant.
Every time I close the door on reality, it comes in through the windows.
Whatever women must do they must do twice as well as men to be thought half as good. Luckily, this is not difficult.
Thirty- five is when you finally get your head together and your body starts falling apart.
I try to take one day at a time -- but sometimes several days attack me at once.
If you can't be a good example -- then you'll just have to be a horrible warning.
I'm not offended by all the dumb blonde jokes because I know I'm not dumb -- and I'm also not blonde.
If high heels were so wonderful, men would still be wearing them.
I'm not going to vacuum 'til Sears makes one you can ride on.
When women are depressed they either eat or go shopping. Men invade another country.
Behind every successful man is a surprised woman.
In politics, if you want anything said, ask a man. If you want anything done, ask a woman.
I have yet to hear a man ask for advice on how to combine marriage and a career.I am a marvelous housekeeper. Every time I leave a man, I keep his house.
Nobody can make you feel inferior without your permission.
Go to this link and enter your street address... it will show a "house" in the middle of the map, that's your house... all the little colored boxes are registered Sex Offenders... click on them and you get a, name, address & picture of the person along with their crime... pretty amazing and scary... it shows you where they live in proximity to your home and the local schools. The hyperlink isn't working, so copy and paste this in your browser:
Have a great rest of the weekend !!
"If high heels were so wonderful, men would still be wearing them." ... do I get extra credit points for still doing this??? Is there somewhere that I can go to collect a prize?
The jokes were funny, thanks for sharing.