When a woman wears leather clothing, ........a man's heart beats quicker, his throat gets dry, he goes weak in the knees and he begins to think irrationally.
Ever wonder why?
Because she smells like a new truck.
An ugly woman walks into a shop with her two kids. The shopkeeperasks "Are they twins? " The woman says "No, he's 9 and she's 7. Why?Do you think they look alike?"
"No", he replies,
"I just can't believe you got laid twice!"
One evening an old Cherokee told his grandson about a battle that goes on inside people.
He said, "My son, the battle is between two "wolves" inside us all.
One is Evil. It is anger, envy, jealousy,sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, and ego.
The other is Good. It is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion and faith." The grandson thought about this for a minute and then asked his grandfather, "Which wolf wins?"
The old Cherokee replied, "The one you feed."
Mujibar was trying to get into the USA legally through Immigration.
The Officer said, Mujibar, you have passed all the tests, except there is one more test. Unless you pass it, you cannot enter the United States of America."
Mujibar said, "I am ready."
The officer said, "Make a sentence using the words Yellow, Pink and Green."
Mujibar thought for a few minutes and said, "Mister Officer, I am ready."
The Officer said, "Go ahead."
Mujibar said, "The telephone goes green, green, green, and I pink it up, and say, 'Yellow, this is Mujibar.'"
Mujibar now works at a Verizon help desk.
I talked to him yesterday