Thursday, January 12, 2006
Part I - How We MetWell, mucho peeps are posting "How We Met" stories and here is the first version of mine:
I use to be a major partier. I went out ever night of the week. I worked hard and played even harder. One night I was out with the girls at a club that is now closed (Country 2000) and I ran into this guy (Dan) I had met a month earlier. When I met him the first time I was at another bar (WW Fairfields) on a date with his friend (Dale). I thought he was hot. Well this was on a Sunday night and we chatted. Sometime after getting my drunk on he left the bar. I think I might of been in a wet t-shirt contest at that time. We had talked about exchanging phone numbers, but didn't get the chance. I was really bummed. Well I met this other guy that night named Stan. Stan and I talked on the phone all week in between work and going to the bars. That next Saturday night Stan asked me to meet him at Country 2000. So the girls and I went out to dinner and hit a few bars. We ended up at Country 2000. Guess who Stan was there with and buddies with? Dan. What a concidence? I decided then it must of been meant to be. I blew Stan off and Dan and I started hanging out. We had been at dance clubs prior to hitting the country hang out, so I was in a short black dress and "come fuck me" boots on. Dan asked me if he could have my panties. I thought he was crazy. Then he explained to me and my friend Shelly that the guys had a bet. He wanted to borrow them and give them back. As Shelly and keep doing shots she suggested to me that I should go in the bathroom and pull my thongs off. I could wad them up and my hand and give them Dan and let him show them off and not tell him where they came from and have him bring them right back and I could put them back on. Well, in my drunken state this seemed like a guy idea at the time. So I did. I handed them to him and told him to hurry and bring them back. As I stood at the bar with a short dress on and no panties, I started to feel a little nervous. Shelly told me to turn around and look. I see a group of guys holding my panties up in the air and sniffing them. Then one guy proceeded to lick them. Now I was in a dilemma. Do I go fetch my panties back and everyone knows they are mine or do I have gross, drunk strangers putting their salva on my panties and the possibility of me running around a bar the rest of the night without panties? I quit thinking and I ran over and grabbed my panties. I ran into the bathroom with them and slid them back on. I went out and Dan was wanting for me. He apologized and bought me another beer. He said he would do whatever I asked of him to make up for it. I told him he had to clean my apartment naked. It was finally closing time and he drove me home. (Shelly had picked me up that night). So we went back to my house and yes, I was a slut-puppy. We did the wild thang. We were both down for some bow-chicky-bow-wow! I wasn't very impressed and hoped it was just the alcohol. We we were finished I got up and brought him a feather duster. He asked what it was for. I told him to start cleaning. Well the next morning we were woken by his friend Stan calling me. How stupid is this guy?
Dan and I ended up inseperable from that point on for about the next (4) years. My lease was up (3) monthes later and we moved in together. A year and half later, we bought a house, then about (6) monthes later we got married. Everything had been great up to this point. Something told me (1) hour before we exchanged vows not to do it. I brushed it off thinking it was just the jitters and all I could think of was all the debt we were already in with the house. The rest of our time married together got worse and worse. The sex was never good. He was so verbally abusive it was unreal. He told me what to wear, to die my hair dark (he didn't like blondes) when to fix up, when not to fix up, etc. He would throw things at me. We lived in the country and had (2) cats for field mice. He would get mad at the cats and shoot at them with bee bee guns. I would lock the cats and myself in the bathroom so he couldn't get to us. It was terrible. He took a nap one day and I decided I had to leave. I took off and the next thing I knew he came up beside me and ran me off the road. He persuaded me to come home and things would change. They changed for about a week. We then got into a fight about finances one night. He told me he wanted me out of the house and that I couldn't take anything. I called a friend (Leslie) and she drove 1 1/2 hours to come pick me up. I waited in the cold at the end of the driveway for her. When she arrived he came and stopped us again. I didn't want to call me mom till I got to the final straw. There are many more details that are way to painful to write about. Finally, in January we were feeding animals for the neighbors about a mile away. I went with him. I was all dressed up cuz he was taking me out that night for the first time in ages. I waited in the truck and he yelled at me for not helping. So I got out to help. He ended up pushing me into the piles of mud for the pigs. I was so deep that when I stood up I couldn't step. I finally stepped and my legs and feet came out of my boots. I was walking around barefoot in mud in freezing temperature in tears. He told me to get the gate. I was trying to get it and wasn't strong enough. When he yelled at me and finally came to help my finger got stuck in it. So I ended up getting my fingernail ripped off. Finally we finished up and I went to get in the truck. He told me I was to muddy and couldn't get in to the truck and I had to walk home. So I did in tears with no shoes or socks. Yes, I did it barefoot in the freezing temperatures and let me reminded you minus one fingernail. I got home and was so pissed I stripped on the front porch so the house didn't get filthy. He yelled at me again for getting naked outside. I went in and jumped in the shower and tried to block him out. I was furious and finally standing up for myself. While in the shower the ass had the nerve to walk into the shower and try to get some. I didn't even finish my shower I felt so violated. I screamed out at him and jumped out of the shower. I throw on clothes half cleaned and just went to bed. This was all on a Saturday night. I went to bed about 6:00 pm and cried myself to sleep. He had promised all week that he would take me out Saturday and we would start church on Sunday. So I got up Sunday and tried to block the day before out and started getting ready. He asked what I was doing and I told him getting ready for church. I asked if he was going to get up and get ready. He said he didn't have time to go because he had to do everything around the house that I didn't do. Let me remind you, I cooked, cleaned, handled the finances, did all the grocery shopping and did some yard work. He would even shake his tea glass at me to refill it. Heck, I even made his plate for him. So I got upset and told him he promised. He said things in our house was his way or no way. I told him it was supose to be a 50/50 relationship. He said he didn't know what would have ever made me think that, because that wasn't the way it was. I asked him if he really believed that. He said yes. I asked again if he was for sure. He said yes. I told him then that I needed to leave. He said maybe you do. I called my mom. I knew this was the finaly straw. I wasn't going to call her until I knew for sure because I didn't want to be crying wolf.
My mom came alone. My brother and step dad was working. We started halfing stuff and throughing it in trash bags. I packed one bed, one dining room table, one couch, one set of dishes, etc. While we were packing Dan went out to my truck and started messing under the hood. My mom got worried and called my uncle over. Before my uncle got there my mom was carrying some stuff out for me and he started yelling at my mom and pushing her. I then called the police. After (3) cops, my uncle and my mom I got out of there safely. He had let me cats out so I did have to go back later and call them to find them. About (2) hours after I left and a damage truck he started calling my moms begging me back. Then would try to get the neighbor next door to call and ask me to come back to him. I found out later they had been sleeping together. I hung up on both. I got up Monday morning and did my resume. I had been working for him, since he was self employed. My mom got me an appointment with an attorney. I got a job within a week and had the divorce started. He started writting me letters every day, he destroyed the house, he would leave flowers and bath & body work baskets on the porch at mom's. It was a pyscho obbession of his to get me back. One day at work I left at lunch to go pick my boss and me something up and going through the drive-thru in jumped in my passenger seat. I had to pull a gun on him to get him out. At that point, I filed a restraining order. It was a long drawn out divorce. He didn't want to agree with anything. I finally ended up giving him the goods (material things) and I keep the bills to get it over with. I never felt so good the day it was final.
I wanted you to know some of the background on me so you would understand the person I am and who I became when I met Max that I am with today. Anyway, this is just part one. To be continued...........
Sonya said at 2:15 PM
Comments:
Wow...{{{HUGS}}} to the old Sonya. My heart breaks for you. I know guys like that are out there, but it truly astonished me to hear tales like yours.
This is the kind of thing I would print out and show my daughters. We try hard to pump into their heads that they deserve a guy who will treasure them.
I am looking forward to the next installment where we find the happy ending.
This is the kind of thing I would print out and show my daughters. We try hard to pump into their heads that they deserve a guy who will treasure them.
I am looking forward to the next installment where we find the happy ending.
Whew! I'm worn out, just reading this, Sonya. What a history! I assume you're stronger for it, and everything that happens to us makes us the people we are today. But I'm still so sorry to hear about this terrible relationship.
*smooches*
*smooches*
I don't regret anything. I believe that everything is a learning experience. And....I definitely learned from this.
OMG! Sonya! I'm so glad you had the strength to get out of that relationship. It must have been a living hell.
*off to read part 2*
*off to read part 2*
Wow Sonya.. Reading that reminds me of that time. Love ya girlie... I would have drive 5 hours to get you.
# posted by 
: 1/13/2006 12:07:00 PM
: 1/13/2006 12:07:00 PM I know I'm late to get here, but I still want to comment.
Wow, Sonya! What a strong woman you are. What a lot of hell to have to go through.
*hug*
Wow, Sonya! What a strong woman you are. What a lot of hell to have to go through.
*hug*
Boy I'm really late but wow, what an aweful experience. I've always wanted a gun but never thought of pulling one on someone else. Seeing your situation, I'm glad you had yours and knew what to do with it.
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