WHEN GIRLS DRINK TOO MUCH (Do any of these sound familiar to you, at all???)
1. I HAVE ABSOLUTELY NO IDEA WHERE MY PURSE IS.
2. I BELIEVE THAT DANCING WITH MY ARMS OVERHEAD AND WIGGLING MY BUTT WHILE YELLING "WOO-HOO!" IS TRULY THE SEXIEST DANCE MOVE AROUND.
3. I'VE SUDDENLY DECIDED I WANT TO KICK SOMEONE'S ASS AND HONESTLY BELIEVE I COULD DO IT TOO.
4. IN MY LAST TRIP TO PEE, I REALIZE I NOW LOOK MORE LIKE A HOMELESS HOOKER THAN THE GODDESS I WAS JUST FOUR HOURS AGO.
5. I DROP MY 3:00 A.M. SUBMARINE SANDWICH ON THE FLOOR (WHICH I'M EATING EVEN THOUGH I'M NOT THE LEAST BIT HUNGRY), PICK IT UP AND CARRY ON EATING IT.
6. I START CRYING AND TELLING EVERYONE I SEE THAT I LOVE THEM SOOOOO MUCH.
7. I GET EXTREMELY EXCITED AND JUMP UP AND DOWN EVERY TIME A N! EW SONG PLAYS BECAUSE "OH MY GOD! I LOVE THIS SONG!"
8. I'VE FOUND A DEEPER/SPIRITUAL SIDE TO THE GEEK SITTING NEXT TO ME
9. THE MAN I'M FLIRTING WITH USED TO BE MY 5TH GRADE TEACHER.
10. THE URGE TO TAKE OFF ARTICLES OF CLOTHING, STAND ON A TABLE AND SING OR DANCE BECOMES STRANGELY OVERWHELMING.
11. MY EYES JUST DON'T SEEM TO WANT TO STAY OPEN ON THEIR OWN SO I KEEP THEM HALF CLOSED AND THINK IT LOOKS EXOTICALLY SEXY.
12. I'VE SUDDENLY TAKEN UP SMOKING AND BECOME REALLY GOOD AT IT.
13. I YELL AT THE BARTENDER, WHO (I THINK) CHEATED ME BY GIVING ME JUST LEMONADE, BUT THAT'S JUST BECAUSE I CAN NO LONGER TASTE THE GIN.
14. I THINK I'M IN BED, BUT MY PILLOW FEELS STRANGELY LIKE THE KITCHEN FLOOR 15. I START EVERY CONVERSATION WITH A BOOMING, "DON'T TAKE THIS THE WRONG W AY BUT..."
16. I FAIL TO NOTICE THAT THE TOILET LID'S DOWN WHEN I SIT ON IT.
17. MY HUGS BEGIN TO RESEMBLE WRESTLING TAKE-DOWN MOVES.
18. I'M TIRED SO I JUST SIT ON THE FLOOR (WHEREVER I HAPPEN TO BE STANDING) AND TAKE A QUICK NAP.
19. I BEGIN LEAVING THE BUTTONS OPEN ON MY BUTTON FLY PANTS TO CUT DOWN ON THE TIME I'M IN THE BATHROOM AWAY FROM MY DRINK.
20. I TAKE MY SHOES OFF BECAUSE I BELIEVE IT'S THEIR FAULT THAT I'M HAVING PROBLEMS WALKING STRAIGHT. LIFE IS WHAT YOU MAKE OF IT...KIND OF LIKE PLAYDOUGH!
Which ones are you guilty of?
You are also guilty of 7, 18 and 20. Or we know someone (MAX and Fucktard Steve) who is guilty of falling asleep on the floor after a case of Bud.
Yes, we have been guilty of much. I think we threw Max off with you and I at the S&J kissing one night too.
Altho, Hooters nights were pretty funny too. I think Larry may have even ventured there with us once. Maybe.
We had some days. Can't we still do it with our significant others or is it just not the same?
Yes you can.
We should have taken more. Mabye we need to get a hold of the old bartender for some.
Do you remember Shane aka PUP?
You could always tell when my SIL was drunk because she'd put on (I'm not making this up) "Mull of Kintyre" and try to get me to sit on her lap. You could tell her DH was drunk when he'd play "Sweet Child of Mine" over and over and over. Then they'd fight about what song to play, and we'd end up listening to "The Green, Green Grass of Home".
Parties at their place were weird.
I'm not guilty of any of them, though. :( Okay, except for 19, but I do that with all the water I drink too, so it doesn't count.